Frequently Heard at Our House

Put down that cat
Why?
NO, you can't drool on the cat.
Why?
No, you may NOT spit on the floor either.
Why?
Ben, I told you, to put down that cat.
Why?
He doesn't like being carried all the time.
Why?

Ben, where are your hearing aids?

What?
Where are your hearing aids?
What?

WHERE ARE YOUR HEARING AIDS?

In my pack-pack!

Are you wearing your hearing aids?

Almost.

Did you feed the kitties?
Almost.

Are you coming?

Almost.

Ben, that is MY ...

....underwear

....money

....phone

....pen

....ipod

....toothbrush

                       ... and you can't have it.

No, you can't wear [select item of clothing]. It is [select in-congruent weather condition] outside.

That's enough _____(Fill in the blank: Syrup, Apple Sauce, ketchup, Ranch dressing, butter, sugar, pencil sharpening, shampoo, toothpaste, spending time in the bathroom, water in the tub, layers of clothing, paper usage, ... holding the cat.)

Mom, how was your day?

Fine.

Whadya do?

I went to work.

And then what?

And I taught math.

And then what? 

And then I taught a physics class.

And then what?

And then I showed my TAs how to do the lab

And then what?

[Insert 86 more 'and then what's' with their appropriate responses.]

Put down that cat
Why?
He doesn't want to be held any more.
Why?
Look, he is mewing and squirming.
Why?
Ben, just put down that cat.

OW!!!!!!! 

Mom, you OK?

Yup!

You happy?

Yup!

It's a nice day?

Yup!

I love you!

I love you too.